Monday, July 27, 2015
Episode Fourteen | We Take It Back
We take it back. This episode features the review of only one chapter because The Skeleton in My Closet Wears a Wedding Dress just got worse. We talk about wearing white shirts to church, why temple marriage doesn't always guarantee success, and how much we'd love a well-rounded, non-cliche character. Two girls can dream.
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Here we go again:
ReplyDelete1. Nerd-chic: totally feel the pain. Especially because there’s usually only a superficial level of engaging with the ‘nerd’ or ‘geek’ culture at hand. It’s like it’s cool to like The Avengers, but if I’ve actually read the comic books and know the general arc the story is taking or get upset with creative liberties that the filmmakers take then that’s just a bit too much. The cool factor quickly becomes, ‘oh, he’s actually, really geeky.’ But you know, that’s just how it is.
2. Loved the quote Madie shared about not sleeping with people who have rubbish books on their shelves. One of the first things I do when I go to someone’s house is look at their bookshelf and immediately start making judgments. I think you can tell a lot about someone based on the books that they have on their shelf (or don’t have). Same for movies, although books I think are more telling (that may be partially because most of my movies were purchased from bargain bins and create a somewhat odd impression of me…).
3. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: Embrace the snobbery. Just be pretentious. I thought it was interesting that you drew broad distinctions between people that were defined by music, books, or film, since I struggle to place myself firmly in one of those camps (I’m not a huge music person, I mean, I really enjoy music, but it’s not my life, you know?). Whereas, I love movies and I’m a huge film junkie, yet I’m an English major and devour books. I guess I can be both? Although, I typically hate that sort of refusal to answer the question by choosing everything. It’s like when you wish for a thousand more wishes. Just not cool. I’ll need to think on it. I know you weren’t really arguing that each person fits neatly into one of the three camps, but I found it intriguing and don’t know where to place myself.
4. I’ve read a lot of Grisham and Clancy novels (mostly when I was in 8th-9th grade). They both have some solid pieces of work, but get pretty formulaic after a short while. Not bad, but also not a ton going on.
ReplyDelete5. I’m totally with you on the need for an open canon and for expanding the canon to include various minority voices, yet, I think there is immense value in much of what’s included in the canon now. Lots of people seem to embrace a totally relativistic view of literature, where there is no way to proclaim something is truly great literature and I think that’s just a shame. Maybe it’s my pretentious side that wants to be able to point out how much better Dickens is than Stephanie Meyer or whatever. And, I think that you both at least philosophically agree with that based on other comments—there were however a few points in your canon discussion where it seemed otherwise. Anyway, I wrote up this deal awhile ago about what makes certain works of art (literature/film/etc.) great: https://conorhilton.wordpress.com/2015/03/15/some-things-are-more-than-good/
6. I have also struggled to fit in at BYU (surprise!). I guess that’s what happens when you’re a self-proclaimed, mustachioed liberal…Although, I’ve been pleasantly surprised at the positive response I receive and the secret whispers from people that like my Obama buttons. I also had little desire to attend BYU, but felt I needed to and have had a remarkable experience, for all its quirks and irritants. I don’t think I would have been able to find so many other progressive, thinking, thoughtful Mormons at any other place—something that has been a life-saver.
7. You pretty much nailed the blue shirts discussion. Here’s the relevant bit from The Handbook 2, 20.4: “Those who bless and pass the sacrament should dress modestly and be well groomed and clean. Clothing or jewelry should not call attention to itself or distract members during the sacrament. Ties and white shirts are recommended because they add to the dignity of the ordinance. However, they should not be required as a mandatory prerequisite for a priesthood holder to participate. Nor should it be required that all be alike in dress and appearance. Bishops should use discretion when giving such guidance to young men, taking into account their financial circumstances and maturity in the Church.”
ReplyDeleteAlthough, I think the Handbook walks murky doctrine/culture lines. I’m pretty comfortable labeling it largely culture, but others would challenge that assertion.
I unfortunately had a similar experience to Kate’s story, in a small branch in Lithuania where the members that passed the sacrament rarely (if ever) wore white shirts to Church, but came and were willing to serve. An older member, who’d lived outside Lithuania berated the branch president into telling them they couldn’t pass unless they wore white shirts, after which I don’t think they ever passed the sacrament and dwindled in activity. No good.
8. First of all, I’m not a huge dating expert, but I think there’s value in what Madie was saying to see what happens in how people handle arguments and disagreement, since unless you’re basically clones of each other, you’ll probably disagree. I think you can use those as potential warning signs depending on what the issue was, circumstances, how it was handled, etc., but I don’t think a fight is a sign of ultimate relationship failure.
9. The ‘temple marriages are perfect marriages’ mentality is dangerous. I think we perpetuate it with stories of apostles and general authorities that never ever saw their parents fight or disagree. Maybe I just lived in a contentious, particularly fallen household (I ended up as one of those apostate, liberal, intellectual Mormons on the road to Hell, while attending weekly, so there’s that…haha), but such was not my experience.
10. Umm, not to brag or be holier than thou, but I consider myself a deeply spiritual person- reading and studying scriptures daily AND watching R-rated movies…so yeah. Guys like that do exist…now this is a little awkward…on to the next point?
ReplyDelete11. I think the idea of a complementary spirituality is incredibly important. That’s one of the things I’m most concerned about in the whole marriage-game—finding someone that at least is understanding of my skeptical, questioning nature, yet also deeply committed to Mormonism. What a challenge.
Along with that, I definitely think that some rules/guidelines should be established and shared between spouses prior to marriage, as it makes things easier and can help you work together (and maybe see those conflict resolution techniques that Madie mentioned and I wrote about up a few points).
12. The commentary on Sophia not praying reminded me of the trouble with writing spirituality. I think I wrote some about this before, but can’t remember for sure if I did or just meant to. Anyway, I think there should be a growth in Mormon art (in the broad sense), but I’m not sure what form that should take. There’s value in exploring things from a clearly Mormon perspective, but I think it may be easier and more valuable to paint Mormon spiritual ideas and frameworks onto other perspectives (like in a fantastical or sci-fi setting). I’m not sold completely on that idea, just my initial thoughts.